Sunday, December 7, 2008

A Not So Happy Eid.

A blogger asks me to remind people of the less fortunate during this Eid. Of those who might be ill, poor or dying.

Then this happened.

To the tune we danced, me and my little sweet niece. Getting ready for Eid Al-Adha. I’m ironing my clothes and she’s dancing some more. Then I hear it. I get a skype phone call on my laptop.

It’s my girl Hind from Montreal.

“Look. I need to say this to someone and it’s going to be you”.

“Tell it girl. You know it’s good. Wait … k … got my chocolate, hot cup of tea brewing and the kid is gone. What’s up?”

“I’ve been working with Ahmed on my Phd dissertation for six months now. We’re covering the same research area. So we’ve had to work with each other. At one point we both sensed it happening. So I’d go home and pray until my knees can carry me no more. I’d ask Allah to guide us both to the right path. Please Allah, I’d say, don’t let this happen. He’s married”.

“ whoh dear lord. Let me get this straight. You’re attracted to a married man?”

“Astaghfirullah. (Hind is crying … long pause ...). I feel so filthy. I’m 29 years old, living out here in Montreal all by myself for five years now. F-I-V-E years. I’m the eldest one in my family of four. They’re all back in Tunis expecting me to finish my PhD, come home as Dr. Hind and make them all proud. They raised me with love you know. They don’t deserve this”.

“What’s hard about being the eldest?”

“If you haven’t been there you won’t understand. I have to take care of my family financially. Make ‘em proud, even if I’m a girl. But they don’t understand that I’m all alone out here – I need emotional support, I need to be taken care of like that. Otherwise I’ll find comfort in the wrong places”.

“You know me sis. I’m not a bad girl. I’m connected to my deen. But I’m human. See this Eid? If it weren’t for you I’d feel so lonely”.

“What about singles around? Any good brothers in icy cold Montreal?”

“ Not only are they scarce, but for a 29 year old Phd student I’m like expired yogurt! Make dua for me sis. I need you”.


Hind and I continue talking. I don’t know what the solution is, and I hardly know what causes such a problem.
But this post is my small way of fulfilling my other friend’s wishes, and giving you (and myself) a reminder of the less fortunate out there during this Eid.

FYI: In Sacramento, a new muslim matrimonial program has been launched.


Organica said...

Eid Mubarak.

I wish I had something smart and witty to say. I wish I could offer a solution.

I don't know.

Organica said...

(i heard this is good)

era said...

I can understand her reaction. I alwasy kept away from opp sex, until this year when marriage moved to the top of my list.

I have been falling in love/dreaming about every guy i have seen.

We need more efficent method of introducing people.

Tammy said...

I have mentioned this to my mom before about my future prediction. I said that there will be many single women who are lonely and are in desperate need of attention will be luring married men, not only Muslim women but many other backgrounds of women too.

Anonymous said...

Hey - there are also lonely and sad single men out there too!!

Farah said...

Belated Eid Mubarak to you. Insha- Allah your friend finds solace, happiness and contentment from all that is good; I know that sounds lame but perhaps this is all a learning curve – does this Muslim brother have any friends he could introduce to her? Can I also say that ‘it takes two to tango’ and perhaps this man feels something too – sometimes men can be (totally) not in tune when a woman is interested but normally an older, married man is savvy enough to deduce that someone may have some sort of feelings for them… just a thought.
There aren’t as many unmarried ‘decent’ & educated Muslim men here either (I’m in Australia) – what sometimes makes the situation worse is that some girls are like vultures with the “my marriage is in trouble” MARRIED, educated and decent looking married men so that once a divorce is uttered they’re all set with their dress! This problem is only further exacerbated in that if your living in a western country and you ARE educated and over 25 you’re considered either too old, or may be perceived too westernized – hence why the parents of said little youngsters are so keen to get their kiddies hitched ASAP… meanwhile I could keep going on and on.. but I won’t… for now (I want you to have a positive opinion of me – hehe)

Anonymous said...

Ouch, this is so awful :( I really feel for the man's wife. I'm sure your friend, since realizing what's going on, is making every effort to keep clear of the guy in question. InshAllah you're supporting her along the way. There is a hadith saying that whenever a man and women are alone, there is always a thrid person there--Satan.

Khalid said...

I'm wondering where all these wonderful, beautiful, educated, pious, and lonely sisters are because its tough for a single brother too.
Oh wait, since all the "good" ones are married than if a brother's single something must be wrong with him. Therefore, the sister's have to go pull a married man.
Makes total sense.
I apologize for the snarkiness, but all it seems to be about is how hard it is for "good" sisters but for the brothers who aren't trying to be players it can be hard too.

bb_aisha said...

a friend was in a similiar situation.alham,it didn't go further than talking.she then came to her senses and cut off all contact. i love this blog mashallah