Thursday, November 12, 2009

What do you think of this passage?


I've missed you. What a distance this has been. Sorry about that :)

What do you think of this passage? Bring your critical tools and go at it! Remember that the Art of Love is a question not foreign to Islamic thought, too.
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"One of the errors leading to the assumption that there is nothing to be learned about love lies in the confusion between the initial experience of 'falling' in love, and the permanent state of 'being' in love, or as we might better say, of 'standing' in love.

If two people who have been strangers, as all of us are, suddenly let the wall between them break down, and feel close, feel one, this moment of oneness in marriage is one of the most exhilirating, most exciting experiences in life. It is all the more wonderful and miraculous for persons who have been shut off, isolated, without love.

However, this type of love is by its very nature not lasting. The two persons become well acquainted in marriage, their intimacy loses more and more its miraculous character, until their antagonism, their disappointments, their mutual boredom kill whatever is left of the initial excitement.

Yet, in the beginning, they do not know all this: in fact, they take the intensity of the infatuation, this being 'crazy' about each other for proof of the intensity of their love, while it may only prove the degree of their preceeding loneliness".

Erich Fromm: The Art of Loving




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6 comments:

angie nader said...

marriage isnt about being with someone you can live with....its about being with someone you cant live without.

marriage is full of compromises. there are many things about my husband that drive me crazy...as their are things about me that drive him crazy.
...but at the end of the day, is im a disater, he's the only one who can make everything better.

Linus said...

Assalamu alaykum. Help me share Islam to the world. link my article to your blog. May Allah reward you.

Sparkling Motivation said...

As it says: The Art of Love...

That's a whole lot of explanation to me ^_^

I keep getting that "Love wears out by time and all you end up with in marriage is boredom and exasperation" bla bla yackidy shmakidy!

In ones life, there are skills learned. Such as the skill to maintain friendship, to learn a craft and be good at to name a few. There's no reason why this shouldn't work for marriage, unless the couple do not put their minds to it.

Why should we be scared of the time when our love is gone? Why not focus on the things that might lead to this?

So that means when you fall out of love, you hate the other person? Why not feel grateful and content for being with another instead?

I don't believe in the fact that every marriage will end with both people not loving each other any more... they either continue cherishing one another because they chose to be together from the start, or be foolish enough than to lead their marriage to massive failure.

Period.


Sparkle xxx

Nasreen said...

Yes, it's true the initial excitement may fade but the love can continue. You can love your spouse through even the madness and be for them when things get crazy. No marriage can last long without both partners keeping the love alive. And this means showing the other person through words or gestures that you care. :)

human about said...

above all, what should be chosen, get marry or commit adultery ?. i like your blog, i added u in my link list, would you add me too. thanx n wassalam

VirtualMan said...

Salam and peace to all.

Since this is a huge subject, I will sum it up.

InshAllah, if intentions and hearts are pure, you should not need to fear anything in marriage, but be aware of issues that arise and resolve in an amicable way. :-)

May Allah guide us all to the straight path.