Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Quest for the Right One

I quest marriage, true. But it seems to me that the quest for the right one may have also been the quest for the right ‘me’ within me. In other words: self-knowledge.

I read a book about Prophet Abraham and the messengers. The question was: are trials in life a tragic experience? Is life and its difficulties a wretched condition?

All the messengers have, like Abraham and Muhammad (PBUT), experienced the trial of faith and all have been, in the same manner, protected from themselves and their own doubts about their faith by signs, inspiration, visions and words from God.

My quest for my right one, if I may put it this way, includes my self-doubt, my tribulations, my vulnerabilities as well as my enlightenment and glory. It is all written in the spirit of educating myself about myself. In this, comes an education in faith, inshAllah. And perhaps I’m not entirely at loss, for how can I possibly make a good wife or soul-mate to a man out there if I approach marriage without knowing myself?

I doubt I’d have anything beautiful to offer the marriage. And so, I await the dawn of oneness with myself, and if in Allah’s will, with a future husband. And so, the quest continues.


1 comment:

Alki Kalotis said...

I think that the lives of women are filled with trials, especially in the Western world as it stands now.

Never before has the honorable role of woman as wife, mother and homemaker been so attacked by the media and by the outgrowth of public opinion based on this.

In my sad experience, men have been very predatory. And I haven't learned this until a very late age, subhanallah. I strongly believe that the Islamic way is the right way. Since my reversion in March 2009, I have been praying for my ex sins and reading as much as I can about the Islamic values regarding women, the family, and even the fiqh of love itself.

Islam is so beautiful because it lays out a wonderful treasure map for individuals to follow to find the right one. And with out the dangers of "dating".

I am reading "The Ideal Muslima", "The Islamic View of Women and the Family" and even "Islamic Guide to Sexual Relations".

These have all proven to be so enlightening for me, as a Western woman who was raised as a "feminist". I feel a sense of the divine hand of Allah behind these authors, as all of them are well-grounded in fiqh and solid basis in the Qur'an and sunnah, with footnotes.

Finally I can see the error of my ways, and feel shame and abject humility before Allah. When I took Shahadah, I was told that all my previous sins had been forgiven-- insha'Allah that is true, since I was sadly misguided by the Western idea that women should "act like men". This is crude and wrong.

I honor you, Sister, in your quest for the "Right One". It is hard, and a trial, but please, take it from me as one who has come through bad experiences, that Allah has laid out the BEST way of women and men. I know that I may face a lone lifestyle because of my background--insh'Allah I will find a husband who understands and is forgiving! Make dua'a for me, Sister, that it will be the case.

Hoping this isn't too off-topic...

Wa Salaam,